Without the haunting specter of superstition staring down at me with eyes fixed to unravel and destroy us, I think I can take a deep breath this week. I don't want to jinx the fuck out of this winning streak but I probably will. Living in the present completely I can say, despite what happens tonight, that I'm happy The Dodgers were able to enter enemy territory and clean house. I wish we could all go into the capital in Phoenix with Dodgers jerseys and baseball bats and really have an eight run inning, if you know what I mean.
Anyhow, we took advantage of a spiritless franchise last night and I have to say my scathing, rhetorical question to the world a couple weeks ago was answered. That question: "WHO THE FUCK IS JOHN ELY?"
Out of bitter frustration and straight up heart attacks during an early demise I had to pose that question, with the pitching staff falling apart at the seams. Then this kid, John Ely, whoever the fuck he is, had a bad game. Then a good one. And then last night, a nearly great one. No walks. Six strikeouts. He's young and weird and I hope this all just isn't bullshit. Now that I've said it, it probably is.
But I must live for today to keep from dying. This John Ely, straight from the Southside of Chicago. Please win some more goddamn games. Be cool. Suerte, bro.
If everyone can pitch consistently well and Ely can stay in the rotation, it doesn't seem too bad. If the bullpen can resist incineration when they take the kid out and if Monasterios can be the rookie journeyman, making some starts, picking up slack, awaiting Padilla's return, then it doesn't seem completely hopeless.
What the fuck? This is baseball. It more than likely won't turn out like this. The beauty and the bitch mother. I'm not saying shit. Good game, dude. I'm glad we won in Arizona. The Fascist State. Let's hope Belisario isn't driving around. He's an illegal, you know? Those hate mongering fucks have now banished ethnic studies in Tucson. They can't stop sucking. Down with the government of Arizona! Up with Los Doyers!
I just hope I'm not cursing the Gods again when we're blowing it in San Diego. That park and those fans, it's all unnerving. Baseball's a motherfucker. My only true prediction.