Somebody give these motherfuckers some steroids

It feels like October. The weather is cooling down, a chance of rain, a pleasant caress of the wind enveloped in the glorious changing of the seasons and also, I want to cut my wrists with an broken beer bottle. But it's not October. It's April. Real nice. I keep exaggerating about how much this season sucks so far and before any loved one or stranger on the street can tell me to shut the fuck up, the game rolls along and I'm excruciatingly correct in my disgust. I don't want to be right. I want these losers to stop melting down against a shitty team. These assholes can make a Big Red Machine out of anybody so far...the Pirates, Reds and soon...the Washington Nationals. Can't wait to see more players I've never heard of score go-ahead runs in the 8th inning. So far, besides that bullshit loss to the Giants, every loss has been a bullpen blunderfuck while wasting a shitload of runs. Pretty soon, these dudes and their bats are going to say fuck it. This is beyond problematic at this point. It's just annoying and somehow worse than a regular loss. Everyday is the same. Usually, the great thing about baseball is its unpredictability. Even if your team sucks, you never really know how it'll go down, day to day. Well, so far this year I know how it's gonna go. Unless we score 14 runs, we're fucked. Can't wait to lose to the Nationals. Think of all the people coming home from ten hours of doing shit for some rich asshole and turning on the game to escape the madness for a moment or two and...well, nevermind. Go ahead and kill yourself, workingman. I want to feel like an asshole and be proven wrong but every day feels a little more fixed and a little more ridiculous.