Gangbanging. The un-fun kind.

Well, game two and they're already gangbanging my soul. Not in the suicidal tradition of October in Philadelphia. Just the anticlimax of this baseball season thus far. The absence of Vin Scully's voice making their lackluster dickmoves out there seem even more annoying.

The blind allegiance to a team and therefore a town is a beautifully inexplicable thing. A natural pillar of life to spite its rigged deck.
It's an unhealthy and abusive relationship, I say it all the time and certain people agree or at least humor me and hold me while I vomit and weep. It is much like being with someone who fucks around on you all the time and then you keep coming back. It's not easy to explain or understand, it just is. But the game yesterday against future Cy Young award winner Russ fucking Ohlendorf and the mighty Pittsburgh Pirates was like trying to explain why you paid to watch your girlfriend/boyfriend fuck someone else in a motel parking lot. And the all the vicious anger is usurped by a feeling of sheer boredom. But you stay and watch until it's murder suicide time.

Seriously, it was a waste of time. It seemed like it was on for seven hours. Both teams looked bored and horrible. In the ninth when they stranded Carroll at third after having no outs, I thought they deserved to lose. I came to terms, got real drunk off innumerable beers.

Sometime around one in the a.m. I was getting another can of beer out of the refrigerator and it slipped out of my hands. I tried to bobble it and then one last save before it hopelessly fell the the floor and fizzed and made a mess. I called it a Blake Dewitt. And I didn't clean it up. I laughed to bury the anguish and grabbed another. This one was fielded perfectly. And victory was mine.

P.S.

Two people at the Pirates game who should be drowned in the Allegheny River:

-Fat white woman with the Phillies jersey. Are you fucking kidding me?

-Asshole with the camouflaged Yankees hat. These people need to be stopped.

Can't wait to see what today will bring. Billingsley and a line-up of mostly bench players. Since we don't really need to win anyways. Fuck it.